All there was

All there was

I dreamt

I dreamt of us smiling without stopping
smiling with no problems
Alone. In peace
I dreamt of us. We were happy.
Away frm here, finally in our home.
I dreamt of you
of you and I
I dreamt and dreamt and I will dream without stopping
for this dream will become reality
I  won’t stop until I can achieve it
because together we’ll beat the odds
and together we shall triumph

I dreamt of the nights
the nights I cried for you
because you weren’t here
because you weren’t there
because distance is a bitch,
a bastard who robs us of our sleep
our peace
our calm
and with only a kiss…
a kiss, is all I need

I dreamt of you
alone, in the darkness
with the past, trying to escape
calling out for me…
and here I was
asking, begging
willing to sell my soul to the highest bidder
just so that I could be there & comfort you
so that I could be there & cover you
heal what ails you or
transfer it all to me
so that you can finally heal

And so, I dreamt
of your caress
I dreamt of how perfect you are
even though you say the opposite

I dreamt of you
I dreamt of me
of how perfect we are for each other
even though we fight
even though we know we’re not perfect
but in that imperfect-cy we are one
for I looked for you, and you to me
and finally,
we are together

I dreamt of us
of our future
even though it’s far away, time goes quickly luv
and we’ll finally have what we want:
A house.
Our company.
Our love.

I dreamt of us
of us, smiling without stopping
with problems, but fighting together
in peace

I dreamt of you, and we were happy
away from here
finally, in our home…

Traduction from “Soñé”

Faithfully unfaithful

This is the second post in the “Murmure dans le vent” series. This post will be showcasing the third movement in Tchaikovsky’s “Serenade for strings” in C Major. I know I sort of cheated (jumping the second movement), BUT you know how the muse is… she eluded the second movement & something just clicked with the third one. Fret not, my dear reader! The second movement will come soon.

Continue reading “Faithfully unfaithful”



Only the darkness knows my plight
Only the darkness knows my sorrow and
the times I’ve cried

Only the night knows
my cuts
my bruises
my scars
the dark holes in my eyes
my paling skin

Only the darkness knows my solitude
Only the darkness understands that won’t see the light…
Only my body knows the cold…
of how much I want your warmth around me

Only the dusk knows my sleepless nights
…the affliction in my heart
….the arch in my back
….the anguish in my soul

Only the darkness can grasp my research
… the endless nights of my pupils burning
… the heavy weight I carry while I walk

The twilight scarcely perceives what my mind’s thinking
….the plots planted
…hope dwindling
… plans expiring

A blaze blinds my soul
… minutes before it consumes me…
… a whisper yearns
a kindle emerges from…

…. the darkness


Do you?

Do you cry at night?
Feeling alone, deserted,
as if nobody wants you
nobody cares
you’re not good enough…

Do you think of all the possibilities in your life?
Your triumphs?
The times you laughed, cried, and loved?

Do you remember when you first crashed,
cried all night, hugging your pillow,
your eyes and nose red from all the pain
… of that feeling of your soul splitting…

Do you remember that first time you fell in love?
The feeling when you noticed, and blushed because somebody asked you…
The felling when you saw him and your body betrayed you
sweaty hands,
mind racing,
stomach churning,
time freezing,
smiling awkwardly…
and embarrassing yourself

Do you remember when you dreamed your dream for the first time?
Of your future together,
traveling, growing old together with a family?

Do you lay in bed
thinking of the future?
Uncertain, scary, with a big question mark
but you close your eyes and imagine he’s there
and everything feels calm…
because you feel like everything will turn out ok…
just because he’s beside you

Clouds form in your head
raining on your face
just wanting to get out
just waiting for you
…just waiting for that signal…
… the signal of you