Category: gradschool

50 thousand reasons to sing and conduct

by Boricua In the Midwest - Jose Clavell, posted in gradschool, Life Lessons, Lifestyles, Personal

In the past few posts (these to be exact: Nobody said it would be this hard, One Winged Angel, and  Caught in the Storm)I have shared my Goals Statement, what I want to do with my carer, some of the people who have inspired me & the obstacles that I’ve had in this past year. While I had this whole post defending why I want to do what I want to do, I’ve realized that… they will continue to put me down, try to shut me out or appear as if they are going to help. I realized that people will continue, no matter what you do, try to make you unhappy. Life sucks. Life throws a lot of obstacles to “test you on how strong you are”. One thing is certain I won’t back down. I will continue to fight for myself, and for the person I love.

A family member asked me a while back… “you do realize that if you want to do this you will have a debt of $50,000 in your ribs, right?” I simply replied: YES. I don’t need to defend my lifestyle, my carer choice to anybody. I have one life, and I’m going to live it the way I want to. I have 50 thousand reasons to sing & conduct. Some of those reasons are:

  1. Laugh.
  2. Love.
  3. Smile.
  4. Make high quality music.
  5. New experiences
  6. New places, people, and things.
  7. Your smile.
  8. The way you when your proud.
  9. The way I feel when I do a good job.
  10. To be brave in all aspects in my life.

Start being happy. Truly happy.

Nobody said it would be this hard

by Boricua In the Midwest - Jose Clavell, posted in Being a Productive Student, Choral Conducting, gradschool, Life Lessons, Lifestyles

In the music world, everything is simple and complex at the same time. When you start to think about grad school, well… it’s just plain complex. You need to take  the GRE & TOFEL (for those of us who English is not our first language) pre-audition, then submit the graduate admission essay (or Goals Statement as some universities call it), submit a thousand letter of recommendations, then the audition (if the pre-audition doesn’t cut it), then do everything everybody else does. In short: one big crazy roller coaster and by osmosis a big crazy me.In all this craziness, people transform in two categories. cheerleaders or nagging-antagonists-who-try-to-sunk-you-into-depression (a bit dramatic, but it’s the truth!). Generally the people who fall into the first category are friends, co-workers, and professors. The latter? Family and some of the people who call themselves “friends”.

I won’t post the pre-audition video I submitted to three universities (Florida State University, Westminister Choir College & Western Illinois University), but I will share my graduate admission essay. Why? Just like River Song says in Doctor Who: “Spoilers, sweetie.” Just sit back and use this as a pre-screening for my next post!

Without further ado, my Goals Statement!

Jose Clavell
Goals Statement

When I was 12 years old, my parents took me to a recital of the Ponce Municipal Band where I saw Ruben Colón Tarrats, conductor of the Ponce Municipal Band and the Concert Choir and Chamber Choir from the Pontifical Catholic University of Puerto Rico, for the first time. From that day on, I have made it my life’s goal to become a choral conductor.  Since this experience, I have devoted all of my time and energy into studying music. After seven years of studying in the Juan Morel Campos Music Institute, I started my bachelor’s in music education where professors such as Prof. Rubén Colón, Prof. María Ondarra and Mons. Abel Di Marco helped me polish my abilities in choral conducting, voice, harmony, and counterpoint, respectively. It was there that I discovered a new, profound passion for choral conducting. In the past five years, I have learned that a choral conductor is far more than just that. Choral conductors, along with their choirs, recreate and celebrate moments from history in order to captivate and mesmerize their audiences.

 To study my master’s in such an important institution would give me the opportunity to focus my energy into my life-long dream. The Puerto Rican government perceives the arts in general as insignificant in comparison with the core subjects, as well as unnecessary for the integral development of the island’s students. Currently, the Department of Education of Puerto Rico has enacted a policy that authorizes school principals (of both elementary and secondary level schools) to decide whether or not they wish to offer music, visual arts, and even physical education classes to their students based on two criteria: first, if the principals deem the classes necessary to the integral development of their students, and secondly, if the school’s budget allows space for teachers specialized in fine arts and/or physical education. We are living in times in which the idea of “education” here in Puerto Rico is, in my opinion, not extensive enough to produce truly well-rounded individuals who can then contribute their talents to the improvement of the island’s conditions, in every aspect. After completing my master’s degree in choral conducting, I plan to come back to the island and work to repair the damage done to the fine arts programs in the schools here.

This is why finishing a post-graduate degree in Choral Conducting would give me the chance to effect change in Puerto Rico’s Music Education programs in secondary and post-secondary institutions. The opportunity to study in an acclaimed institution would allow me to share my cultural background, as well as my knowledge from my bachelor’s and embrace the latest methodology, assessment, and vocal coaching techniques. It would also give me the chance to work with a project entitled “The Art of Musical Poetry”. This project is a book in progress, a personal endeavor of mine, the aim of which is to marry the processes of musical composition and creative writing into a single form of art.

My vocation in life is that of a teacher, but I fear for the future of the fine arts programs here in Puerto Rico. To better the programs is to better both my students and myself, and in doing so, I will help to build a culture of peace here on the island.

As the song states… Nobody said it was easy!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqWLpTKBFcU

Everything’s a learning experience

by Boricua In the Midwest - Jose Clavell, posted in gradschool, Personal, Photos

Everything's a learning experience

Even though I couldn’t go to the audition, I learned how to cram this masterpiece in less than a week. Preparation is key. Pressure is what differentiates a coal from a diamond!

How to achieve a state of mindfulness & relaxation when you’re a musician.

by Boricua In the Midwest - Jose Clavell, posted in Being a Productive Student, gradschool, Life Lessons, Lifestyles, Music

Let’s face it, if you’re a musician you may be in a constant state of stress. This may be because of too many rehearsals, deadlines, concerts, too many scores to learn, and or teach. Sometimes we even have to bring our work home! To everything that may be happening in our professional lives, we have to add this to the stress we may encounter in our personal lives. So what can we do to relax and achieve a state of mindfulness? First of all we must properly define those two terms.

  • Relaxation (noun): the state of being free of tension and anxiety.
  • Mindfulness (noun): inclined to be aware
  • Aware (adj): having or showing realization, perception, or knowledge

If we were “normal people” (and I use this term for non-musician or artsy people) we would do what “normal people” do when they want to be stress-free, turn up their music and drown the world. Now, I’m not saying that this works, because sometimes it does but this may be counter-productive. Why? Because as musician’s a chord progression, motif in a song or a bands name may remind us about all our stress from our work.

How to achieve mindfulness

In zen, the way to approach mindfulness is by breathing and in quietness. So what we must do is to stop, before or after a rehearsal or project and do the following

  1. Find the silence

    As musicians we know what the power of silence can do. It can create tension or release, it prepares for a new theme, in short, silence is good. If you’re like me I over think things (a lot) and these random (and not so random) thoughts can hurt us more than they should. We have to stop, and “look” or distance ourselves from our thoughts.

  2. Balance

           We must achieve a balance between our personal and professional lives. We have to start asking ourselves: am I biting more than I can chew? Do I have too many projects running at once? What are the pros and cons of each project? What is the priority right now? Remember to do this objectively and distant. As you were an observer of your own life, instead of actually living it. To achieve body balance also helps. I remember my choral conducting courses and Prof. Ruben Colon always told us that as a conductor you must align your body so that you feel no tension anywhere. To achieve this I always think of being as relaxed as a rag doll and slowly widening and stretch my back.

  3. Breathe my child! Breathe!

           I’m an asthmatic. I am also a singer. When I get in stressful situations I feel like I’m about to drown! When I feel like this I always curse (inwardly, of course) and ask “Where the hell (or other nouns) is my inhaler?!” Then, just when I’m about to drown I listen to that annoying little voice in my head, and he screams BREATHE MY CHILD! BREATHE! Allow yourself to breathe! I’ve noticed that if you’re a musician, even know that we KNOW the importance of breathing, when we’re not what I like to call “musician mode” in a magical way we forget that we have to take deep breaths. We have to permit ourselves to breathe and connect our body, mind, and soul.

  4. Accept what we can and can’t change.

    In this year where I have  called “The year that Never was”, where I made plans and every single one of them failed, I realized that I have to learn to accept things, life and it’s difficulties. I have to learn to accept what we can and can’t change professionally as well as in my personal life. I had to acknowledge my failures as well as triumphs, the sorrow, pain, sadness, happiness. We must put (want to or not) some things past us so that we can grow.

  5. Accept resistance

    You may want to kill him/her because they don’t do their job. You may want to think of all the negative aspects of your life and the dreadful “What if?” All of this may happen but life is full of resistance. We must always try to make a conscious choice as well as try to maintain that distance between thoughts, especially when you’re going to make important choices in your life.
  6. Hobbies

    We must, must, must, MUST find a hobby that is non-music related. In this year this has “evolved” in devouring series such as Doctor Who, Survivor, Merlin, Sherlock, and many, many more. Try to do this with friends. Maybe go out on a walk. A friend of mine started to do 10-mile bicycle runs (a little extreme for me), but find something to do when you’re not in “musician mode” or just want to relax.

The year that never was part deux: “When reality ruins everything”

by Boricua In the Midwest - Jose Clavell, posted in gradschool, Life Lessons

In the last post I reflected on what has happened in this past year. To recap, the expectations  were:

  1. Finish my Teaching Internship successfully, and show that I can actually be a music teacher (choral conductor).
  2. Finish my Choral Conducting course & (maybe) conduct in the Spring Tour.
  3. Go to France in the summer with my best friend (as a reward to myself for studying nonstop for five years)
  4. Start my Master’s in Music (Choral Conducting).
  5. Become more independent.

As a result, I finished the Teaching Internship successfully, I passed all my evaluations with very high percentage (yay me!) and so did my friend & peer Yolimar. I received one of highest grades in the Internship (at least from my supervisors group). I also finished my Choral Conducting course with flying colors. I am (for now) the only student from PUCPR who graduated with a full year in student conducting (pats self). I also conducted in the Spring Tour (New York & New Jersey). I had the honor of conduct in Saint Patrick’s Cathedral in New York & in Saint Joseph of the Palisades Chapel in New Jersey. I graduated PUCPR with honors, and received the Mons. Di Marco Medal for musicianship and musical excellence. So far so good right? Wrong.

It’s amazing the way life changes drastically in a few moments. I was in an all time high, I was graduating as well did my partner and my better half. We were going to France in the Summer,and then I would start my masters degree. I got accepted into a very recognized School of Music, and I was on the runnings in getting a scholarship. I was going to become more independent. Things were looking up. That’s when everything came crashing down.

In the few months before graduating (more or less May/June 2012) I received the following information:

  1. I did not receive any type of scholarship. Since I didn’t receive any (extra) financial aid, I couldn’t start my masters in the program of my dreams for I couldn’t have managed financially. I could have started my master’s degree last August (August 2012), but that meant taking out Federal and Private loans. But this meant that I would have fallen in the death grip of financial decay at 22 years. I decided to not study (as any rational, decent individual would do). 
  2. I did not go to France for the summer with my best friend. Why? Because the loans (which were “tailored for the trip”) did not cover nearly half of the trips expenses. So no trip for any of us.
  3. Being independent: This, which was intertwined with the last to points, did not come into fruition. I know what you may think. “Jose, you do not need to go to leave your parents house to be independent.” I know this. I know that I do not need to leave my parents house to become independent. The dillema is that, here in Puerto Rico, there are no jobs. When I mean there are no jobs is that I have friend with two Masters degrees and she can’t find a job as a Teacher (her Bachellors), Administrator (one of her master’s degrees) or even in a Fast Food Establishment (because she’s “overqualified”). As I wrote in my Goals Statement essay:

    The Puerto Rican government perceives the arts in general as insignificant in comparison with the core subjects, as well as unnecessary for the integral development of the island’s students. Currently, the Department of Education of Puerto Rico has enacted a policy that authorizes school principals (of both elementary and secondary level schools) to decide whether or not they wish to offer music, visual arts, and even physical education classes to their students based on two criteria: first, if the principals deem the classes necessary to the integral development of their students, and secondly, if the school’s budget allows space for teachers specialized in fine arts and/or physical education.

    So this means that I can’t work as a teacher because in both, private and public, educational system in the island are not hiring teacher, what is a recent college graduate to do? (Other than to send resumes/C.V knowing that you won’t get hired, because there are no jobs).

  4. Social Media Insomnia/Netflix addiction: Since I couldn’t find a job my days these past year became a blur. I have spent hours in social media, such as Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, and Netflix watching T.V series, movies, documentaries and spiraling into what I call “The College Graduate Depression”. This stage is a really sad one, for you realize that you can’t go foward, because you can’t get a job and to get a job you need experience. What’s even sadder is that all of my friends got in this stage together and even more depressing? We couldn’t meet up and didn’t talk much (in person) because to meet up equals gas equals money equals no job equals no money. So this is a vicious and deadly cycle which needs to stop.

In this realization I started to look for methods of escaping. It sounds like a rivating tale of survival (which it is). The plan was the same: “how do I get out of here (the island)?” “how can I at least find a job, save up some money, and go to that first question?” I spent countles hours searching for “the escape”. I searched for other music programs and decided I would apply for Western Illinois University, Westminister Choir College, & re-apply to Florida State University. I got accepted into Western Illinois University’s Master’s in Music Program (Choral Conducting, Performance) as well as Florida State University (again). I also passed the first audition for Westminister Choir College (I still can’t believe it!) but I couldn’t go to their on-campus audition due to lack of money.

So what’s next?

After being accepted into both programs, interviewed by Dr. James Stegall, Director of Choral Activities from Western Illinois University and analyzing my chances in both universities. I decided to go to WIU and start my post-graduate education Illinois. As part of being a graduate student in WIU I will be a Graduate Assistant for Choirs. Since everything will be a brand new experience (leaving the island on my own for the first time, and studying “abroad”) I’ll be blogging regularly and sharing all my experiences in Illinois with you all. I hope you enjoy them as much as I know I will. I hope you enjoy this crazy ride you’re about to take with me. Please remember to have both hands and feet inside the machine at all times!

-J.C.

The year that never was: Reflection of this last year.

by Boricua In the Midwest - Jose Clavell, posted in gradschool, Life Lessons

It’s May. Unfortunately this means that’s it has been a year since I graduated from the Pontifical Catholic University from Puerto Rico. In this year, which shall be named: “The year that never was.” has been a disaster in my professional life. Let’s review what the plans were:

  1. In January- May 2012 I was doing my “Práctica Docente” this was basically my Teaching Internship in a school in a nearby town, called Adjuntas. There I worked my prove that I had “what it takes” to be a music teacher/choral conductor in a high school.  
  2. In that same time frame I had my “Choral Conducting II: Advanced Conducting” where I had to conduct “various (advanced) pieces” that had some sort of accompaniment. It was in this time where I had the opportunity to represent the island when we had our Spring Tour in New York & New Jersey. Some of the places where I conducted was in Saint Paul’s Cathedral in New York & Saint Joseph of the Palisades in New Jersey.
  3. In my last semester as a undergrad student I planned to go to France with my best friend to study French in La Sorbonne. The plan was go to take a student loan and go to France in June and come back mid-July.
  4. After I graduated, I had planned to start in August (2012) a Masters in Music (Performance) in Choral conducting. I had applied, and got accepted to Florida’s State University.
  5. (not really a fifth point but…) Be more independent. This is tightly in relation with the last post. I would be living in another place (with my best friend) and we both would start being independent and start our adult lives.

All of these were the expectations I had for the past year. In the next post I will reflect on what actually happened (aka. reality)