Caught in the Storm

Caught in the storm. This is the only way I can accurately explain the way I’m feeling these past two weeks or specifically 4 months. If you’re a constant reader of this blog, you might have read “The Year that never was part une & part deux” After basically losing everything I’ve worked crash and burn in my professional as well as my personal life, I haven’t well in every sense of the word. I don’t feel ~as bad~ since what I will now start calling “The Second Great Depression (2008 edition)”… it’s been bad. On top of everything that I’m passing through it doesn’t help in having more or less a family that supports you when they please or better yet say they support you and then stop.

Right now I’m in limbo mode. I have to start preparing to leave the island to start my masters. I can’t do as much as I would like for I have to visit where I’m staying to actually have an idea of what I can take and leave here. I’m equally utterly terrified and completely excited of being in a new place, new people, new experiences but at the same time I don’t want to leave home (mostly because of my friends). I don’t know what exactly I’ll be doing as a Graduate Assistant, but I’m most utterly grateful for the university in giving me the opportunity. So in these next two months I have to, go to the Open House, start packing, try and not get “the support system” to me (as I have done before and it’s not good), try and not get myself killed by two of my friends, try to move on and start living the way I would like to.

He told me I was in over my head, I didn’t want to say yes but I know I am. I’ve bitten more than I can chew (as I always do). Not going to lie, throwing myself like this to somewhere I’ve never been to, alone, with a very limited (to almost no) budget 2058.63 miles away from what I know… it’s not going to be easy. I know that if I come out victorious from this… nothing will stop me. I just have to wait for certain things to resurface, try and maintain calm and let this storm pass.

Hear it thunder
And I wonder
How long can I hang on

I’m caught in the storm
I’m caught in the rain
I’m caught in the rush that hides this pain

I’m ready to drown
But it’s coming down
But I feel so alive
(…)
Let me wash away
You can find me after the flood
Let me wash away

Caught in the storm