Do you?

Do you cry at night?
Feeling alone, deserted,
as if nobody wants you
nobody cares
you’re not good enough…

Do you think of all the possibilities in your life?
Your triumphs?
Mistakes?
The times you laughed, cried, and loved?

Do you remember when you first crashed,
cried all night, hugging your pillow,
your eyes and nose red from all the pain
… of that feeling of your soul splitting…

Do you remember that first time you fell in love?
The feeling when you noticed, and blushed because somebody asked you…
The felling when you saw him and your body betrayed you
sweaty hands,
mind racing,
stomach churning,
time freezing,
smiling awkwardly…
and embarrassing yourself

Do you remember when you dreamed your dream for the first time?
Of your future together,
traveling, growing old together with a family?

Do you lay in bed
thinking of the future?
Uncertain, scary, with a big question mark
but you close your eyes and imagine he’s there
and everything feels calm…
because you feel like everything will turn out ok…
just because he’s beside you

Clouds form in your head
raining on your face
just wanting to get out
just waiting for you
…just waiting for that signal…
… the signal of you